I turn 29 today! Stella’s birthday and my birthday are exactly one week apart. With the start of the last year of my twenties, comes the end of my first twelve months of motherhood. It just feels appropriate to reflect back on this past year – one whole year of Stella, twelve months experiencing motherhood and parenting for the first time! I am overwhelmed with emotion and awareness of growth. As I enter into the last year of my twenties, I want to acknowledge some of the lessons motherhood taught me just in these first twelve months.
Celebrate my 29th birthday with me as I share in this blog post the Lessons Motherhood Taught Me.
ONE | Time really does fly.
It’s the oldest cliche in the book, but man how this year has blown by!! So many have shared the phrase “days turn into weeks, and weeks into months” but I never really experienced that reality until motherhood. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re a zombie of sleep deprivation for the first 2 months? One day Stella is taking 10 minutes to stretch coming out of her swaddle after her 5th nap of the day, the next second she’s speeding down the hallway pushing her ride along bike shouting MOM MOM MOM. I’ve never been more aware of how fast time can go until becoming a mommy.
TWO | We Mothers are superheroes, but even we can’t do it all.
I have always struggled asking for help, delegating tasks, and trusting others to do a job for me. Both in my personal and professional life. The first twelve months of motherhood has taught me to relinquish control and count on family and friends in a way that I hadn’t ever before. When I realized that it was ok to admit I couldn’t do it all, motherhood got a little bit easier.
THREE | Hormones will both hurt and heal you.
The science of conception, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum will never cease to amaze me! But with the great miracle of those life-giving hormones, comes endless tears, rollercoaster moods, and unattractive physical side effects galore. I’ve learned to embrace the waves of postpartum hormones, and trust that my body is doing exactly what it needs to be doing.
RELATED POST | Stella’s Birth Story + My Natural Labor at 41 Weeks
FOUR | Unsolicited advice and judgments are just par for the course of new motherhood.
I’m learning that mommy’s love to give advice to other mommy’s, even if you’re not asking for advice. And mommy’s love to make judgments on other mommy’s, and that sometimes makes ya feel like crap. The unsolicited advice and judgments won’t go away, but how I respond to them can change. I am constantly reminding myself that only I am Stella’s mama. And what works for Stella, may not work for other babies, and vice versa! And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. At the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can.
FIVE | Be present in the moment, even if it makes you ugly cry.
In the early days of motherhood, when those previously mentioned hormones were raging, I kept finding myself being so ‘present’ in the moment that it would bring me to tears. So aware of my reality as a new mommy with my new beautiful baby that I couldn’t do anything other than just sob. Happy tears, but tears, nonetheless. I’m finding that motherhood is a daily balance of being present in the moment while choking back your tears so you can still be a functioning adult! Learning to embrace the happy tears and emotions, even if it means I’m less of a functioning human for that day.
SIX | Taking Cara Babies is a literal lifesaver.
If we haven’t had the chance to talk sleep training yet, send me a message so we can chat. Oh man! Cara is a mastermind. Stella was sleeping an 8 hour stretch at night at only 7 weeks, and was in her own room and crib sleeping 12 hours a night at just 11 weeks. The methods of age appropriate wake-windows is genius. The course provided a framework of Eat-Awake-Sleep-You time that made the newborn stage, and the first year in general, much less overwhelming. My mental health and my marriage cannot thank that class enough. 10/10 recommend to all new mommies.
SEVEN | Write everything down, because mom-brain is no joke.
I’ve always been a handwritten calendar/planner type girl, but even more so now as a new mom. Not only does life get more complicated, as you now have another human to be responsible for, but the short term memory loss and forgetfulness that comes with motherhood is crippling! Tasks I never had to remind myself of before, like getting gas, washing my hair, having sex with my husband lol, have needed to be written down and scheduled!
RELATED POST | 7 Ways to Be More Productive At Home
EIGHT | Find yourself a village of mom friends, and never let them go.
My two best girlfriends and I were all pregnant at the same time! Our three girls are all within 2.5 months of each-other! The times that I have confided in them, commiserated with them, and celebrated postpartum wins with them are countless. You know who you are, I couldn’t have done the first twelve months of motherhood without you.
NINE | Your spouse is your teammate.
Taylor and I have always called each other our teammate, but that role has evolved in these first twelve months of parenting together. We’ve added a little teammate to our crew, and we’re challenging each other in new ways every day. We both work full-time, and function as independent parents several days a week. It’s taken some time to get into a good groove, but I love that we each wear many hats. Parenting as a team, for us, feels like a shared ownership of responsibility and accountability.
RELATED POST | 50 Spouse Affirmations that Aren’t ‘I Love You’
TEN | You’re not gonna be a perfect mom. Never ever ever. And that’s okay.
Just last month, I caved and let Stella watch ‘Miss Rachel’ for the first time. I had failed at my no-screens-until-two goal, and I felt guilty and defeated. A change in mindset: yes, Miss Rachel on YouTube was an early introduction of screen time for 11 month old Stella, but it introduced some new activities, songs, and lessons I could play with Stella without the screen! Not going to be an every day thing, but certainly a great inspiration of activities for mom’s of busy toddlers.
ELEVEN | Every phase, good or bad, is just a temporary phase.
Stella hating her car seat and screaming bloody-murder at every red light? A temporary phase that has now passed. Stella pooping through her sleep suit onto the crib sheet every night? A temporary phase that has now passed. She’s currently in the sweetest phase of hugging everyone and everything, a phase that I hope never passes. On the flip side, She’s also in a phase of food throwing, one that I’m ready as heck to pass. Keep on keeping on, mama!
TWELVE | Your life isn’t over just because you had a baby.
The fun doesn’t have to end! In fact, Taylor and I have had the most fun in our relationship since becoming parents together. Stella has accompanied us on several flights/road trips, happy hour dates, winery outings, beach picnics, and hikes. Sure it takes some extra planning, patience, and gear, but saying ‘it’s worth it’ is an understatement. We’re taking Stella to Italy for two weeks this October, and we’re over the moon excited to share the adventure with her!
And there you have it! The lessons motherhood taught me. At least in the first 12 months, that is. What lessons have your first twelve months of motherhood taught you? Do any of my lessons resonate with your own experience as a new mommy? Share in the comments here, or join in my community on Instagram.
Photography by Sabrina Kinsella.
