They say not to compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy, right? What about comparing your current self to your previous self? Unpopular opinion: I just don’t love being pregnant. I thought that was just a fluke when I was first pregnant with my daughter in 2021. But here we are in 2023, about to pop with my son. I feel the exact same way.
I recently found myself in a pit of negative emotions looking at 35 week photos of my pregnancy with Stella, versus my current body at 39 weeks pregnant with Graham. The differences in my body with a first-time pregnancy at age 27. No toddler to chase around, all the time in the world for lengthy workouts, beauty appointments, self care, sleep, the list goes on…
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Versus my body in a second pregnancy at age 29, with larger and heavier breasts that are nursing a 22-month old. Eyes that aren’t getting enough sleep, a brain tired in grad school, overworked and swollen limbs. A blonde balayage with long overdue roots, a blotchy at-home spray tan since there’s no time to lay out anymore.
The wild thing is, I didn’t love being pregnant when I was carrying my daughter two years ago. Though, somehow, I look back on those photos as if they were a happy, glowing time of my life.
I spiraled to a dark pit of emotions. Oh, the joys of third trimester hormones. Unpopular opinion: I just don’t love being pregnant.
So many mom’s told me that they loved every minute of being pregnant.
“It was the most beautiful season for my body”.
“Gaining weight didn’t bother me because I was creating life”
“I missed my bump after giving birth”
“Don’t you wish you could keep your baby inside and safe forever?”
“I loved the glow, and all the extra helping hands from strangers”.
That just wasn’t the case for me. Not in my first pregnancy; and not currently in my second (and planned to be last) pregnancy.
I periodically struggled coming to terms with that. I just don’t love being pregnant.
Why can’t I be happy in this so-called beautiful season. Yes, pregnancy and child birth is a literal miracle in more ways than one. That doesn’t mean it’s glamorous, or easy, or even enjoyable, for some women. I’m not here to have a pity party, though I acknowledge it may read that way. I am more just dwelling in my own realization that it’s ok to not enjoy being pregnant.
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As these are my final days with a baby bump, I’m trying to relish in every emotion and sensation that is being ‘pregnant’. In all honesty, for most of this second pregnancy, I really tried the ‘fake it til ya make it’ mentality. Hoping that I’d somehow trick myself into loving pregnancy. It just didn’t work that way for me.
With that said, I’m overwhelmingly grateful for the ability to carry two babies to term; and feel immensely blessed to have had healthy, low risk, active pregnancies both times. But holy shamolie, I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t wait for this season of having babies to be over.
I’m ready for the season of raising my babies.
I can’t wait to hold both my babies. Watch them grow up together outside my belly. Gain some more space on my lap now that there won’t be a growing bump. Lessen the burden on my feet and chase my toddler around again. Lay on my tummy with my newborn. Lay on my back and let my toddler climb all over me.
Charge at my husband for the embrace of a full body slam hug. Pick out an outfit for date night that doesn’t have to be ‘bump friendly’. Share a bottle of wine with girlfriends. Return to work as a nurse and wiggle my body through tight corners of a small Emergency Department. Do a dang ab workout at the gym. I could go on…
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Nothing about pregnancy has felt glamorous for me. While my opinion may be unpopular, I doubt I’m alone in feeling that way. What’s more, nothing about postpartum is glamorous either. And I’m A-okay admitting that. Yet, I’m still excited to enter into that season, because it means I won’t be pregnant anymore.
Finally, after two pregnancies, I can confidently say I just don’t love being pregnant. But I love more than anything being a mom. These sacrifices we make are so worth the gift of motherhood.
A sweet mom that I met through Stella’s preschool this past year, and have had the pleasure of growing close with recently, shared this quote in our group chat today. It just hit right. Honestly, it was exactly what I needed to hear in this pit of dark emotions.
Lastly, let’s wrap things up on a lighter note – in the spirit of admitting that pregnancy isn’t easy or glamorous – here are some items that made my third trimester tolerable!
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UNDERGARMENT SHORTS | Hello, chafing thighs. @what.alexa.wore shared these, and I was instantly hooked! Will certainly be purchasing another 3-pack post recovery in a non-pregnant size.
VINTAGE VORNADO FAN | Cooling off your sweaty pregnant bod can still flow with your home aesthetic. Even with the AC cranking in our home, I love to have this guy blasting in the bathroom when I get out of the shower.
SELF TANNER | If you can’t tone it, tan it. And there’s just something to be said about the mood boost that comes with a tan body. Even a large, pregnant one. Apply generously and wear overnight, wash it off in the morning.
MAGNESIUM GLYCINATE SUPPLEMENT | Headaches, leg cramps, insomnia, constipation are all real pregnancy issues. And magnesium is a miracle worker. After clearing this with your OB or CNM, I’d suggest taking two capsules, once daily, along with your prenatal vitamin and prenatal probiotic.
CC CREAM | My melasma (“mask of pregnancy”) is raging, and pregnant skin is more prone to sunburn. I love that this one is full coverage and SPF 50!
POOL FLOAT | Summer pregnancies aren’t doable without a pool, ocean, or a lazy river. This pool float gets ya comfy and cooled-off; and off of your swollen feet. I currently am planning on spending my due date with my best friends in a lazy river at a local resort, and I truly can’t think of a better way to celebrate being 40 weeks pregnant.
PALAZZO PANTS | A cute outfit shouldn’t go out the window once your bump is poppin. These are high waisted and fit over the bump so well, and are beyond comfy. A third trimester must have.
Food for Thought
Mom’s – do any of these feels resonate with you? Were you one of those moms that loved being pregnant? Did you find yourself feeling different in your subsequent pregnancies as you did in your first? What were some of your go-to comforts in pregnancy?
Next, drop a comment here on the blog, or join in my community on Instagram.
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